I have been working on affirmations for almost two full years! In January of 2018, I was having deep heartfelt chat with my amazing friend Whitney who challenged me to trying positive affirmations.
One important thing I want you to understand; I WAS SO FREAKIN DONE and COMPLETELY FED up. I was drowning in my ability to tear myself apart in 0.03 sec flat. This spiraling and self-deprecation that left me completely empty, crushed and devoid of energy. I felt trapped, defeated was willing to try ANYTHING to make a change. I HAD tried affirmations before! I THOUGHT I was doing all the right things and was unsure why it didn’t stick with me in the past. Affirmations always seemed to work for everyone BUT me!
<--Affirmation Via: @heytiffanyroe on Instagram
I DOVE IN THIS TIME!
I did LOADS of research into what I had to do to finally MAKE. THIS. WORK. One year and 8 months later. I have curated ALL the information I have learned and give you 4 EASY TO USE steps in writing your own personal affirmations.
Let’s start with a definition; Affirmations are positive phrases that help challenge and OVERCOME self-sabotaging and negative thoughts. Affirmation statements usually target a specific area, behavior or belief that you're struggling with. When you repeat them, ( and eventually start to believe in them) you will start to feel the changes in your mind.
If you were like me, you may have had this thought... AFfirmations are "wishful thinking" for those with strong will power. But try looking at it this way: many of us do repetitive things in our lives to improve our health. Gym, shower, sleep schedule, unplugging, vacations, food, family time etc.! Affirmations are exercises for our mind and personal journey that CAN & WILL reprogram your thinking patterns so that, over time, you begin to think, act, AND FEEL different.
1. Write down at least 10 beliefs/persistent thoughts that are bothering you.
I can almost guarantee that a lot of these connect and are very similar. Once you do this (and forewarning it may hurt a little to write these out and get them on paper?It's okay and it's totally normal) choose an affirmation that is the opposite of that thought and belief. Do you wish that you had more patience? Or more positive body image? Would you like to have a better relationship with your partner, family or even a better relationship with money? Write it down!!!
2. Make it memorable! Keep it short, simple and personal. Turn negatives into positives.
I recommend this so they are potent mentally! It will get right to that nasty rooted thought, and YANKS at it until it gets removed! Again, some of your beliefs my feel similar so feel free to combine & get specific with your words!
3. Write your affirmation in the present tense.
Say & use your affirmation as if it's already happening. This helps you to believe its true right now for you. (You most likely will NOT believe them at first... That is okay! The point is to give yourself the opportunity to get there.)
4. STICK WITH IT for at LEAST 21 days!
Say it with feeling. EVERYTIME you do it. Affirmations will be more effective when they carry that emotional weight. This really gives that old nasty thought no place to hide any longer.
Print or write out your affirmations and put it on your mirror, as your phone screensaver, in your office, set a reminder on your phone everyday that says 'Affirmations!' as a constant reminder. Do what you gotta do to be able to keep thjs promise to yourself.
You can also record yourself saying the belief as well as the replacing affirmation along with it as an easy way to remember. Sit in a quiet meditative place to repeat aloud or in your head. I have been using tapping meditation with my recorded beliefs & affirmations to help focus on what I am saying (we will discuss this on a soon to be blog post *wink wink*).
Let’s get some examples in this hizz-ouse to help you with ideas!
Belief: I'm not talented enough to progress in my career. Turn this around and write Affirmation: I am a skilled and experienced professional.
Belief: I am not deserving of Space; Affirmation: I am unique and deserve all space.
B: I must be perfect and do it all; A: I give myself Grace and it is safe to be imperfect.
B: I am tired and inactive due to body size; A: Joyful movement is more important & I am in control of me.
B: I am unable to trust my own thoughts & feelings; A: I fully trust in and truly love myself.
B: I never have enough money; A: Money comes easily to me and I manage it wisely
B: My voice doesn’t matter; A: I will speak my truth and speak positively & loving to myself.
B: My relationship with (whoever) is so hard and always a struggle to get along; A: I love, give grace to and honor (person) as an imperfect human like myself.
I hope these examples were helpful for you! It took me a LONG TIME to get to the point of where I am, and I am always here for you if you need help! I am not perfect, nor am I a professional in this field, but I truly do know the difference it makes when you work at your core.
