Imma get vulnerable on here, and tell you some things about myself that I feel are pertinent to know about why I am choosing the #loveyourself challenge.
I tend to hold unreasonably HIGH standards for myself. One little slip? Triggers me… I self-deprecate and mentally shred my thoughts and feelings apart like pieces of paper.
Having thoughts like this? Skewed my standards of what I needed to look like.... Which then lead me into a bad relationship with a boy and almost completely losing myself.
Having thoughts like this? Skewed my standards of what I needed to look like.... Which then lead me into a bad relationship with a boy and almost completely losing myself.
I FINALLY asked God almost four years ago in my pit of dark thoughts and feelings of hopelessness. for His help. I asked God to show me who I was; because I didn’t know anymore.
Truth be told I had almost completely lost my identity when I was in a relationship with a boy
(yep. I mean boy) for almost 2 years.
My main concern & worry at that time was how I looked. I went to the gym no matter what. My food intake was little to none. I was worried about how often I 'felt skinny'. God shifted that boy and I apart in an abrupt manner and I was left feeling broken. I needed God's help in finding my true core identity and to find out why I was going through this dark and extremely trying time..
My eyes were opened; I was shown, (once again for the millionth time up to that point), the true core of whom he made ME to be. It had nothing to do with my appearance and had everything to do with being his child; forever.
I started looking at myself different and deciding what I wanted in life. He helped me to remember what I wanted my future to look like and let GO of what the world said I was ‘supposed’ to be. I had finally found my core self…
Who did I meet shortly after this experience I liken to being molded in the fiery furnace? Who was God leading me RIGHT to????
You guessed it. Warren Paul Quist; my forever sweetheart & gentleman! My sexy and adorable husband and my forever partner and adventurer in life!
Warren was what God was leading me to through these trials. And the first step? Was learning to LOVE myself! ALL of me! I had started feeling the true love that I needed to give to myself for YEARS! I was confident in who I was and what God needed me to be. Because of Warren's constant love, dedication to us, and extreme compassion I am able to love myself even more and continue to grow and learn.
Loving myself is STILL difficult y’all! I am re-learning every day to TRUST my body and mind. I am STILL learning to love myself.
Even taking these pictures, I had negative thoughts about myself. But I have to remember whose daughter I am; who I get the true gift and blessing to be married to, adventure with, love, cherish and live or forever lives with; The wonderful family I am grateful to be a part of (Webster’s & Quist’s are the BEST people in the world!).
You do NOT have to change a single thing about yourself. NOTHING! Once you start to find ways to show yourself true, deep, meaningful compassion and love? You'll find your way…You? Are perfectly imperfect my friend.
Engagement & Wedding PC: Elisha Braithwaite
